Sonic The Hedgehog: The Worst that Could Happen
by Brenman9K
Summary: It all began with a simple plan to destroy a simple hedgehog that gone horribly wrong...
1. It has begun

It began in ancient times long ago...

With nothing to do with this story...

Our Story begins here.

At Eggman's lair, which looks like a generic evil scientist lair, with computer screens, electricity all over the place, metal stuff, invention stuff, and my personal favorite, the moving chair thing. Dr. Eggman sits on his chair spying Sonic through his big computer screen. Who's following Sonic is a guy who's getting paid minimum wage and runs fast. Sonic goes to the chili dog stand, and asks for a chili dog, no duh! Then Eggman forgot why he was spying on Sonic, who little that he know that he was being spied on, who also was being spied on. It's... It's too terrifying to say his name... Adam West the Hedgehog, who's an old dude... But the person who was spying him was, Mr. Rogers the Echidna? They start to beat up Dr. Eggman, because he's evil! Plus he's trying to kill Sonic somehow, and it has to do something with the chili dogs! Or so it seems, Sonic took a bite out of the chili dog, and his head blew up, not because it was a bomb! But because it tasted so good, it blew his mind literally! But you maybe asking, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!" Well I tell you what it is! It's suspense building up! Sonic just had his head explode, Adam and Mr. Rogers are beating up Eggman! Something's going down!

We're at Sonic's funeral, where it's raining, it's pouring, and that old man won't stop snoring, so what the people at the funeral do... Nothing... Amy's crying was louder than the old man. But while that going's on Tails was wondering who killed Sonic, and Knuckles... Well... he mistakes the coffin for a toilet... And Shadow shoots him for that, So now both Sonic and Knuckles are AVAIABLE FOR THE SNES! With better graphics! Better Sound! And a 3D stage that looks worse than my 2nd grade origami project! GET IT TODAY! Now back to the show... are dead, and it doesn't help any better, SINCE NOW TWO PEOPLE WERE JUST KILLED!

At Tails's house, Tails was figuring out who killed Sonic, he figured out it couldn't be Eggman. The chili dog stand, had people had their heads explode before. The guy at the chili dog stand, said there was a stock problem, that someone was replacing Chaos Emerald cooked chili dogs, that are illegal only in Minnesota, California, and New York. It couldn't be Shadow because he just shot Knuckles at the funeral. Though this could be a set up.

Tails goes to Shadow's house, and the place is a freakin' mess, filled with smoke in the air, guns everywhere on the floor, with Gothic babes magazines, and the place is booming with Linkin' Park, it's so loud it would cause sonic booms in the room, but as we all know Sonic booms don't exist in Sonic. Shadow comes in, having a look that even Squidward would want to punch in the face. Sheesh, am I at it with the comparisons or what? "What do you want?" asked Shadow

"I'm here about Chaos Emerald cooked chili dogs." said Tails.

"What about em?"

"Well I was wondering if you cook them."

"I used to, but stopped, because it was getting out of hand, I was sick and tired of cleaning up blood during midnight"

"Would you know anyone that would switch a stock of hot dogs"

"Shadow, yeah I do, his name is SSJ9000... Some say he's a man, same he is a beast"

"Didn't you see the guy?"

"Yes, and he looks like a hedgehog, if I were you take this"

Shadow gives Tails a Christian cross necklace. " The chaos emerald restaurant is right next to your ass... Seriously it is... " said Shadow.

Tails goes in the restaurant, only to see a lot of bodies on the floor, with no heads. There's blood hanging everywhere, intestines hanging on walls, for the yearly biggest stomach award, coming from 1992 to 2011. Also it's very dark, but still can see everything is there but it gets darker when it gets to the counter. Tails sees a silver bell, he rings it, and he sees a Hedgehog with quills longer than a football field, and has white fur. "Excuse me, but I'm here for SSJ9000" said Tails.

"That's me what about it" Said the long quill hedgehog.

"Supposedly you're switching stocks of hot dogs at a hot dog stand, why is that?"

"You see, that hot dog stand is ruining my business, so I have to make it look bad."

"By having your hot dogs that kill people as is?"

"Exactly."

"You know, you did kill Sonic, the guy who saved the world about a million times."  
>"Yes I did, and that was part of the plan, to have the guy seemingly killed a hero"<p>

"And you are telling this to the hero's sidekick, who's also famous right?"

"Well then I have to kill you..."

SSJ9000, starts to shoot energy blasts like no tomorrow, kicking Tails's ass, and if you couldn't tell this is a parody of the usual DBZ Sonic fan character, so of course "He's more powerful than Sonic", but anyway, back to Tails, WHO'S SOMEHOW STILL OKAY! Throws the cross at him, and he explodes. But something isn't right, before Sonic died, there was a guy with a camera, following Sonic, what he could he be? Why was he following Sonic? Tails looks up the security camera where Sonic was filmed from several buildings, and he identified the guy with his advance technology, and it looked like Sonic, with his hat backwards. Could this be a clone? Then there's that exact Hedgehog behind him. "So you're the guy following Sonic, no one usually follows Sonic with a camera unless they're reporters, and as we all know, REPORTERS AIN'T ANIMALS! Except for the pornographic ones, and the ones in little kids stories who grew up to be porn stars, BUT, who are you?" Asked Tails.

"I'm Sonic...The Hedgehog..." Said the hedgehog with the camera.

"WHAT! That's impossible! How can that be!"

"I'm an alternate Sonic, I came from alternate time line where the new Sonic games are good OH SNAP!"

"Shut the fuck up, and tell me about this alternate time line?"

"Okay in all seriousness, that the time line I'm from, is a time line based around the portable games, if the Sonic in this universe dies, I die, so I have to replace him!"

"You can predict the future?"

"No, but I was fading, and I already know about Sonic Prime"  
>"Why were you filming him?"<p>

"Eggman wanted to keep an eye of Sonic to make sure he gets into a trap, it wasn't the chili dogs, but another one, that would kill Sonic for sure... Hedgehog Poison!"

"Oh, but what about your friends in your time line?

"Eh, I'm not too worry about it"

"So you're just here being the new Sonic!"

"Yep!"

Then a portal appears, and comes out Sonic Prime, "YOU!" Yelled Sonic Prime at Alternate Sonic,

"WHAT THE?" said Alternate Sonic.

Sonic Prime, then put Alternate Sonic to a wall, and hold him there, "You didn't think I wouldn't be the least bit suspicious about a guy with a camera following me, at my speed!'

"Well..."

"You were the one who insisted to Dr. Eggman to kill me with Hedgehog Poison!"

"Um..."

"But that ain't gonna fool me! So I killed my self, and have an extra life with me!'

Alternate Sonic claps with amusement, "You're not as dumb as I thought Sonic Prime, not as dumb as I thought..."  
>"YEAH! No one is going the one and only Sonic The Hedgehog!"<p>

"Yeah, but do you know why?"

"Because I have the better games"

"No."

"Because I get more copies sold!"

"Well... No... It does have something to do with that, but it's because I'm here to improve your games, you see Sonic Prime, the games I'm in are considered better than your console games... I'm here to save Sega from dying, and you're the reason.

"Not the complete reason! Plus, Sonic Colors was good!"

"Yeah but my version better! Because everything I do, I can do better..."

"You're going to something about this Sonic?" asked Tails

"No..." said Sonic prime

"WHAT!"

"I'm sorry Tails, but he's right! My games are always worse than his!"

"So what are you going to do then!"

"I'm going to put up my shoes... and give myself a new hair cut, and not be called Sonic anymore..."

"But Sonic you can't be replaced! You're my brother, no one is going replaced that!"

"Oh come on, he 's that not that different, besides him acting like an asshole suddenly, and I'm pretty sure after I leave he'll act like me, goodbye Tails"

Sonic Prime leaves, Until Adam West and Mr. Rogers came in "Alternate Sonic... You're being punished for causing Time paradoxes in the universe", said Adam West, "You're punishment is the Dark Special Zone Biatch", said Mr. Rogers,

"There is a problem however, Dr. Eggman is sent to the Dark Special Zone, because he took part of Alternate Sonic's... Plan..."

"So we decided to replace your Eggman, with Robotnik from Satam"

Adam West, and Mr. Rogers leave with Alternate Sonic, and suddenly the sky turns dark, with a robotic tower looking over the city, and we see a bunch of Storm Troo, I mean Cylo, I mean "Swat Bots", destroying everything, killing people, shooting a bunch of G.U.N Soldiers, and robotizing everyone. "Oh this is bad" said Sonic

To be continued...


	2. Can it get any worse?

Chapter 2...

It was... about a day now... Everything was destroyed simple as that. Everyone is a robot, what more do you want to know? We see Sonic and Tails in a basement doing nothing but thinking about chicken. "Sonic I have an Idea!" said Tails, "Yeah Tails, what is it?" asked Sonic.

"Dr. Robotnik is kind of eggy."

"Yeah, you're point?"

"So what if we send in a chicken to hatch him!"

"Meh, why not."

At Dr. Robotnik's lair where we see a small room with a huge chair that's green, with computer screens everywhere and a stupid bald guy that no one knows who he is, who wears green and his name is Snively. Dr. Robotnik sees a chicken on a screen, "Snively, why is there a chicken on my screen" asked Dr. Robotnik, "I don't know sir..." answered Snively,

"I SAY ROBOTIZED IT! It would be a great replacement for my old chicken!"

"... Okay sir!"

Snively goes to a button that calls out the whole lair, "Swat Bots there's a Chicken at the entrance go and robotized it, and also... Do a little sexy for papa Snively..."

"SNIVELY! just get the damn chicken!" Yelled out Robotnik.

"Yes sir, cut off the sexy dance Swat Bots"

THEN SONIC GOES THROUGH THE CEILING, and throws Snively at the convenient hazardous acid pit that was installed 2 days ago, by the FedEx Package delivery service, where we say fuck you logistics. Now back to the show. "So hedgehog, you found my lair..." said Dr. Robotnik, "Oh, yeah it was a pain to look for, it's the only menacing building towering over a huge city." said Sonic sarcastically.

"I don't like your attitude hedgehog..."

"And I love yo sexay voice..."

"At least you didn't call me Robuttnik."

"Oh come on man, what kind of retard would come up with that insult?"

"You did... Well, at least in my world..."

"Oh... So everyone is a robot huh?"

"No duh."  
>"Pretty cool actually when you think about it, it's so Terminatorish"<p>

"Yeah, it was an inspiration"

"Oh really?"

"You don't seem that bad of guy"

"Neither, are you"

Then Tails shot Dr. Robotnik and died... Oh what you say? So Dr. Robotnik is dead huh... Let me look at the list of Dr. Robotniks... There's the A.O.S.T.H Robotnik who could work, but penis jokes would go off the wall, there's the Underground Robotnik, who's not much different than the SATAM, but with a stupid voice, aaaaand. That's it I supposed, there's the British Comics Robotnik, but that means going to Britain, and you know what I mean when I say "Yellow Submarine", so yeah no villain means no Sonic... "WHAT THE" said Sonic with surprise and no glee, and I think he has to pee.

"The hell you talkin' about narrator!" said Sonic being an ass, "Shut up" said Sonic talking back at me, sine I'm awesome and all... But anyway just joshing with ya Sonic boy! But not about the whole end of the world thing! "Oh !" said Sonic cussing like a sailor, bad boy Sonic, so everything is flying to the sky and Sonic decides the best solution to everything, go to a special zone and collect rings. So he goes into a gigantuous ring, and goes into the special zone hoping to find something to this solution, but all he finds is a rubber ducky, Sonic was so confused he's not mad neither happy. Then Bert comes in, and starts to talk to Sonic, "Hello Sonic... I am God..." said Bert "I knew it... YOU OWE ME FIVE BUCKS KNUCKLES!" said Sonic, "Shut up Sonic" yelled Knuckles at Sonic, "Listen Sonic, I'm here to tell you everything is going go wrong because you ruined everything..." said Bert, "What did I do wrong?"

"Because of you entering the special zone since the first game, you interfere the heavens by getting the CHAOS EMERALD! A very rare kind actually since you don't see a red emerald anywhere else!"

"I'm pretty sure it would be rare, since it's in the heavens"

"I know and you stole it, steal it, stole it? YES STOLE IT!"

"But didn't Eggman get it first?"  
>"He never got the chance, because of you in the way!"<p>

"What about the Master Emerald?"  
>"I GAVE IT TO A BUNCH OF ECHIDNAS! It was a long time ago when the Echidnas were a new race!"<p>

Cut back to the beginning time, the Echidnas were born, and were the first creatures, and started to have an advance kingdom, while simple, more powerful than the Hedgehog empire! Even though their weapons were much much worse, but they kicked some Fox ass which is why there isn't any foxes with tow tails anymore, and Tails is the last fox with the two tails. But Echidnas were born and I gave them a present, why? It was my birthday, and I decided to give them a present"

"I thought you were supposed to get presents on your birthday"

"The whole thing was bull crap, YOU'RE supposed to give on birthdays NOT get"

"You suck"  
>"SHUT IT!"<p>

So anyway, I gave them the Master Emerald, and my paper clip collection, and I got pissed until some stupid cow, chao, mao? CHAO CHAO! IT'S CHAO! Touched the damn thing, and turned into a water monster! So, So... What I was trying to prove again?

"Where's Ernie!"

" I don't know, I guess he's too busy counting up to 12, and learning about the letter G!

"LOOK! I need Dr. Eggman"

"Oh and what are you going to do about it?

"I'm going to challenge you!"  
>"To what?"<br>"I'll challenge you to a math contest!

"Pick your grade, from Pre-K to 5th grade!"

"I pick 3rd plus what 5th grader is going to play Sesame Street?"

"DOES IT MATTER! First question, what is 2 x 6?"

"I say YO MAMA!"

"Wrong answer dipshit!"

"Ooooh you said a bad wooooooord!"

"Will you please shut up!"

"That's the not the nice way to say it Bert"  
>"PLEASE BE QUIET!"<p>

"Okay Mr. Bert!"

"Next question, 24/3 ="

"Hmm... I say it was Benjamin Franklin"

"THAT'S NOT MATH!"

"Look I'm sorry! I'm not good at math! What made you so cranky Bert?"

"Because I am God, and a God am I, I need to maintain an order! The chaos emeralds should never be discovered neither should the special stage zone!"

"Then why da hell did you put big rings that lead to the entrance anyway?"

"Because... I didn't actually do that..."

"Then who did?" 

A mysterious orange man with a blue and red shirt, IT'S ERNIE GOD DAMN IT! Ernie comes in clapping and cackling. "Well, well if isn't the infamous hedgehog, Sonic!" said Ernie, "Ernie! I liked you best out of the two" said Sonic

"You won't like me for long..."

"Why?"

"BECAUSE I'M THE DEVIL!."

Then he starts to blast Sonic with his death beams, and starts singing rubber ducky you're the one, and chases Sonic. Sonic runs across the special stage zone lane, looking like the one in Sonic 2. At one point, Adam West and Mr. Rogers go in front of Ernie and chain him up. They both hang Ernie by the arms, "The world is now destroyed Sonic, it's too late!" said Ernie, "Well you can blame it on Tails pretty much actually, HEY LOOK A TIME STONE!" said Sonic. There was a green time stone flies by, and Sonic grabs it. "Sonic it's pointless to use the time stone, when you only have one" said Ernie, "Because I'm going to teleport to that dodecahexasept yearly planet" said Sonic. He sees a portal and goes through it, and ends up in the planet. He goes to a panel that says past and does end up in the past. Sonic sees Neil Armstrong, and beats the living crap out of him and steals his space ship, and deals with Buzz Aldrin being a drunk fool. Sonic goes back to his home planet, EARTH! What? It isn't Mobius? You mad brah? Why? Why do you care? This is the game's continuity in a sense. I know this isn't listed on game's continuity, but that's because we just had Dr. Robotnik from SATAM here so it's mixed. Anyway I'm getting off task here, so Sonic goes to Earth, and sees his younger self, which ironically is 15, and modern Sonic is 16. Puberty is weird. So Sonic goes up to classic Sonic, and starts talking to him, "LISTEN MAN! I'm you from the future" Yelled M. Sonic, "Sheesh is that you Uncle Looney?" said C. Sonic, "

"I'm not Uncle Looney!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, you're not Uncle Looney, you're a robot, Micheal Jackson, you're anything but Uncle Looney"

"What the...? Uncle Looney had dark fur, that's unclean... Oh god..."

goes see the ocean, and looks at his face and he looks exactly like his Uncle Looney, you know how Sonic described. "Listen, I'm not Uncle Looney. I'm you in the future. I don't have a huge Scar on my back..." said M. Sonic. turns his back, and C. Sonic notices a scar, M. Sonic wonders what the hell was going on, he realizes he went to the past, yet went into the future!

Let me explain, it all began with Sonic going back in time, when he got on the space ship, it goes at the speed of light, and according to Einstein's theory, going at the speed of light can go further in time. So yeah he went in the past and then to the future again. Sonic did remember hearing about his distant half brother from England who's 3 years younger than Sonic. Sonic's brother is 23, which means Sonic is 26, Classic Sonic is only 3 years old, and his name is Carlos the hedgehog, Amy is the mom, SONIC IS UNCLE LOONEY! This all adds up! I shouldn't be proud, but since I'm the Author, and can doing anything I want, I am! I'm just joshing, I'm not. I'm sad about it actually, writing a stupid fan fic about Sonic the Hedghog, for his 20th birthday, and it has a Muppet being the god and all, with the dumbest story, that would make a crossover between Boondocks and Barney Dinosaur hentai seem like the greatest thing in existence!

You want a chapter 3 I'll give you a chapter 3, and it would be worse, OH! It will be worse...


	3. Oh yeah, it just got worse!

Chapter 3

Sonic goes around trying to find his friends that he did know, and finds Tails, "Who are you?" asked Tails, "I'm you're best friend man!" answered Sonic,

"I never met you in my life weirdo!"

"What do you mean! I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"OH, you 're that asshole Hedgehog that I used to like, who ignored me!"

"What the hell happened, remember when me and you teamed up and stopped Dr. Eggman!"

"No, we never teamed up!"

"What the hell is going on...?"

We see Knuckles comes in, who seems to know Sonic, "Sonic, I come from the same time line! I can explain everything!" said Knuckles, for unlike Sonic, he doesn't chuckle OH SNAP! "Knuckles thank god you're here, what the hell happened!" asked Sonic.

"Sonic, you see you never met Tails, you were in Sonic CD, and in theory it takes place before Sonic 2, hell you didn't save Amy, instead your half brother Jameson the Hedgehog saved her, married her, and now Dr. Eggman is the president. I'm letting you know Adam West and Mr. Rogers are not happy with you, instead they're pissed off, so keep on your toes."

"How do I fix all this!"

"I don't know, all I know is that you fucked up big time, and it's time for to you die"

Knuckles brings out a gun, and was about to shoot Sonic, and Tails shoots Knuckles. "TAILS!" said Sonic, "I'm the same Tails you knew Sonic, I'm here to help!" said Tails,

"How are you going to help?  
>"Everything is ruined, everything is not meant to be, the best thing to do is to go through the time where you didn't eat the chili dog, to do that isn't really hard"<p>

"But what about Adam and Mr. Rogers?"  
>"Adam West is not too hard, since all he to do is give him nostalgia and he'll forget all about it. Though Mr. Rogers, he is the Ultimate Warrior of Ultimate Destiny! Killing him is going to take more effort than just doing something, we need to be careful!<p>

"What about Bert?"

"Bert... Well... I'm pretty sure he forgives you now, because it was Ernie's fault for the whole ring entrances"  
>"So why can't he tell them to stop!"<p>

"When you put it that way... I guess we can go into the special zones."

"HOLD IT!" Yelled by someone.

That someone is Bert, "I closed down all the special stage zone! You can only time travel!"

"What! How are we going to fix all of this then" asked Sonic, "I know you didn't mean harm Sonic... I'm sorry to say, but it seems impossible to fix. Let me explain..."

You see Sonic, even if you did go back to the time when you eat the Chaos Emerald cooked chili dogs,

you would stop Alternate Sonic, stop your semi Past self, but Hedgehog poison would unleash and would kill him, now you force him to go with you and run away from the Hedgehog poison, but would kill Shadow, and Amy. You would be sad depressed and kill your self. You can't save Shadow and Amy because they're far away from the chili dog stand! You may have the speed of sound Sonic, but that doesn't mean you are the fastest. The two of you could separate, but either one of you would be envious and fight over Amy and both of you would be dead."

"STUPID DEUS EX MACHIMIA!" yelled Sonic!

"There is one way, however..."

"What is it then you ass!"

"You could go back to the past, to the point where Dr. Eggman first discovers the chaos emerald, and lie to him about a greater power called the, the, BLUE RINGS! So that way you have a villain, your games would still sell well, and the chaos emeralds won't be discovered!"

"Well... Let's do that then!"

Bert opened up a portal, that sends Sonic to he past at Dr. Eggman's lair. In the lair is a small computer room, with screens, with cheap plastic desks, and a cheap chair from WAL MART, where now you can buy 1 Sega game and 2 Sega games free, that's right, Free, at WAL MART makes shopping more of a pain in the ass, I MEAN, better. But back to the show, Sonic goes in and starts talking to Dr. Eggman, "Look Eggman, you don't want the Chaos Emeralds, you want the blue rings..." said Sonic, "The Blue rings?" asked Dr. Eggman

"Yes, they contain such infinite power, more so than a dancing monkey!"

"Where can I find them?"

"At a big ass blue ring!"

"I can use them to rule the world!"

"Good luck with that"

Sonic leaves, being happy that everything is back to normal, you know Sonic gets all blue rings, beats up a fat scientist, but little that he knows, that this is some messed up plan to revive some behemoth... When sonic got all the blue rings, he turned into Big Bird the demonic condor balrog. "MUHAHAHAHA! I fooled you Sonic, I knew you do it, I tricked you the whole time!" said Bert, then we see Knuckles with a shoulder wound from Tails, "Hold it Bert, what kind of plan is this!" asked Knuckles, "You see Knuckles, I'm not your god, I'm the devil, you thought Ernie was, but he isn't! He's my assistant, it's a trick to make you believe he's the devil! My plan was to have Sonic suffer, so that way he can do as I say! If I asked him that I want him to to be the new Big Bird, he wouldn't say yes, so I have to make go through all that just for him to do so!" said Bert

We see a group of guys in hoods, chanting, they take them off their hoods, and it's The Ultimate Warrior with Captain Planet, Micheal Jordon, and Mr. Magoo, "GRAAAAAAAAAAAH! BERT! You are interfering with the real world for too long now, and we must destroy you with a power of the moon sayonces, that will collapse you like a Moon Warrior, and will crush you down like the little man you are, SNAAAAAAAAAAARK!" rambled The Ultimate Warrior, "Let me translate, he says, he will attack you with the fist of the moon if you don't stop this." said Micheal Jordon, "Who are you guys?" asked Dr. Eggman, "We are the Order of the universe, we maintain balance everything, Mr. Rogers and Adam West are not in charge of Time and Space, instead they're goons of Bert!" said Captain Planet, "Okay hold it! When did this turn into a crappy crossover?" Asked Dr. Eggman

"Since the beginning of the story" said Knuckles

"Yeah, but I didn't think it would get worse with Bert being god" said Dr. Eggman

"If you really think you can stop me, try stop my The Chaos of the universe!" said Bert.

Then we see three monsters coming out of the ground, and it's The Count, Oscar the Grouch, and The Cookie Monster. Then the The Order of the Univese (OOU) and the The Chaos of the Universe (COU) starts to fight each other, Captain Planet starts punching the crap out of Oscar, Micheal Jordon, starts rapidly punch the Count in the stomach, Mr. Magoo starts beating up Knuckles, thinking he's the Cookie Monster, and Bert kicking the Ultimate Warrior's ass. Then Big Bird ate Captain Planet. The Ultimate Warrior is on the floor bleeding, and he's pissed, and starts to have a monologue, "The warrior can not let all faith be lost, he must let it live on, listen dudes, I ain't letting you all down, because I am the warrior, and the warrior never dies, and if he does, then there's no such thing as the universe to the literal extreme and the figurative extreme, because there's a warrior in all of us dude, and destroy the big yellow bird of destruction with my bare hands!"

"You know while you were talking all the OOU are killed but you, and we're in deep shit!" said Knuckles

"Knuckles, you must save the little blue fast hog man, and become a warrior, become a new member of the OOU, because you're the protector of a big master chaos emerald, and..."

"OKAY! I get what you're saying!" interrupted Knuckles.

Knuckles starts gliding up to Big Bird, and punch through his chest, and gets sonic out of there, and Big Bird explodes, and Bert dies with Big Bird. We see Sonic very tired and pale, "Th, th... Thank you Knuckles..." said Sonic, "Sonic, I'm sorry for pooping on your grave, and trying to kill you." said Knuckles, "Th, th... That's okay Knuckles..." said Sonic, "SONIC YOU CAN'T DIE! You're the one thing that keeps Sega alive! Without you, we would fail man! WE WOULD FAIL!" sobbed Knuckles, "I'M NOT DEAD YOU FOOL! I'm just sick!" yelled Sonic.

We see Sonic at the hospital, resting. Amy comes in in the hospital room where Sonic is at, she comes up to him and gives him a box with a chili dog in it. "How are you feeling Sonic?" asked Amy

"I'm doing fine Amy, just had to deal with the most ludicrous plot out there" answered Sonic

"Sonic I know it's cheesy..."

"I'm going make it cheesier to piss off the people reading it, I love you..."

Sonic and Amy kissed, until Sonic's half brother Jameson came in holding a rifle. "Sonic, you bloody bastard!"

To be concluded!


	4. But now its over!

Notice: This is the modified version of the Chapter, with a name change. I did this so that way I won't get in trouble for attacking someone that's already on this site, but I think you'll know who it is if you read it carefully. (I'll post the other version of Deviantart or on a another website, I'll put up a link in the profile)

Jameson is about to shoot Sonic, but he decides not to. "Sonic, I'm not going to kill you just yet! By the Amy I took away your hammer, but listen Sonic... You're not the first" said Jameson, "What?" said Sonic  
>"You see, I'm the original Sonic, I'm the Sonic from the from Sonic 1 through Knuckles"<p>

"What?"

"I mean 3 and Knuckles! But you see Sonic, I was sick and tired of the video game fame, so I decided to work outside of Sega and sell socks, and before I left, I had ask Sega to make a new Sonic, that looks better than me, so they invented you!"  
>"Well, that answers on why I'm not the original Sonic, but why are you trying to kill me!"<p>

"I'm getting to that! While I was working at my Sock Store, a guy came and ask me to work with him on the Gameboy Advance Sonic game. So I did, it wasn't anything special I was selling socks for 7 years I could use a break. Then I started noticing with Heroes that you keep screwing up! You keep killing Sega, So I prepared a system to kill you and activate Alternate Sonic to kill you and replace you! But I stopped... I can't help to feel we're brothers... Even though I never met you, I just feel you're gullible. Plus you were doing better again! But just one day he was mysteriously activated, and he starts to cause a whole commotion! I didn't mean to activate him, but even if he was destroyed you made matters worse now causing time paradoxes left and right, so that's why I have to kill you!"

"Wait! We can try to find out who caused this!"

"I checked, it was a coffee cup that fell down on the button to activate him!"

"Question?"  
>"What?"<p>

"Why are there muppet characters?

"I... Don't..."

"Who is she?" Modern Sonic points at a chipmunk like chick, with red hair, and blue boots, who; in case you don't know, is Sally from the Archie Sonic Comics and The SATAM Cartoon. "Wait a minute... I know who's behind this!" said Original Sonic,

"Who?" Asked M. Sonic

"A KNOTHOLE RESIDENT!" said O. Sonic.

"So you figured it out!" came in The A Knothole Resident, who wears his usual clothing, his T-Shirts his jeans, and his glasses.

"What are you trying to do?" asked O. Sonic

"I'm trying to make the perfect Sonic game!" said AKR

"It adds up, the Sesame Street Characters! The Satam theme stuff! The Classic characters! It was you! YOU DID IT! You diaper wearing, nostalgic, hipster wannabe, FAN BOY!"

"And guess who's going to be the star?"

"Who?"

"You!"  
>"I quit Sega 17 years ago! I ain't coming back, I'm going to work on physics, and sell socks like I always do! You ain't do nothin about it! I want to live a normal life! I can't handle fame!"<p>

"You can't betray me! I worship you! I defended you! You can't talk back at me! NOW HAVE SEX WITH SALLY!"

"NO!"

"Did this turn into the worst drama just now?" Asked Modern Sonic

"SILENCE GREEN EYES!" yelled AKR.

AKR starts to zap M. Sonic, and O. Sonic shoots AKR in the leg. AKR Leans down but gets back up, and we see he heals the wound, "I'M GOD! REMEMBER!"yelled AKR, and then zaps Classic Sonic, and then Tails crashes through the window with his plane, and goes through AKR's upper body and the upper body goes on the front of the plane. But the plane explodes, and with momentum force the Tails gets pushed back at the same room where the Sonics, Amy and AKR are at, and we see Tails has brown fur, "Tails you're a black man!" said M. Sonic, "SAY WHAT!" said Tails, and while they have that offensively racist discussion, AKR forms his upper body back. Then Knuckles puts out of the ground and eats AKR'S arm off. But of course he regrows it. "ENOUGH. I want to tell you AKR... That... I have a box set of condoms, if you leave you can leave us alone, how's that for a deal?" said M. Sonic, "Hmm... I say... NO!" yelled AKR. M. Sonic starts to vanish bit by bit. But the Vanishing stops until Iziukia comes in. "GET OUT OF HERE IZUKIA YOU SUCK! YUJI NAKA WAS BETTER!" yelled AKR, "It's always fucking Yuji Naka" said Izukia who left the building. Then Yuji Naka comes in, "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" yelled AKR, "Aknothole resident... YOU RUINED MY GAME ASSHOLE!" Yuji Naka,

"Wait what?"

"Your stupid little game has been released and now Sega is out of business, and it's considered to be so bad, E.T for the Atari is like having sex with a goddess!"

"I wanna know what Mario is like" said M. Sonic

"But is it it better than 06?" said AKR

"NOOOOOOOOO! At least some people like 06, no one likes your game! The only people who liked it are Satantists!" said Yuji Naka

So Yuji Naka snap his fingers and AKR is gone. "I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH SONIC EVER AGAIN!" yelled Yuji Naka, and he leaves the room, Izukia comes in and says "Who wants some apple pie?"

The end.


End file.
